Pinned toot

Please excuse me while I follow all the rockstars I already follow on all my other accounts

Nobody:
Malta DJs: What if... We mixed Justin Timberlake... With Kings of Leon... 🤔🤔🤔🤔

RT @stupidoldandy@twitter.activitypub.actor
Oh, so when other ppl call their pets "fur baby" its fine but when I call a kid a "skin dog" somehow I'm "disgusting" and "the worst pediatrician in this hospital"??

RT @JakeOnOrbit@twitter.activitypub.actor
@sarah_edo@twitter.com

If the world ends right after I quit smoking Imma be really fucking pissed.

Me: Well, the one gay bar on the island shut early, I wonder if I should go home or...
Bar next door: *starts playing Nickelback*
Me:

RT @Blackamazon
Stop . Retweeting things without citation even from folk you trust. Hell if I do it chin check me . It’s not smart

Me, an alcoholic: Chartreuse kinda looks like hand sanitizer... 🤔🤔🤔🤔
---
RT @CFodorKCCI
TSA now allowing 12 ounce bottles of hand sanitizer in your carry-on. ⁦@KCCINews⁩
twitter.com/CFodorKCCI/status/

RT @MikeBrooks668
A friend of mine on FB typo’d and wrote “nopefully” which I propose we immediately adopt as shorthand for “I do not want that to happen”.

God this must be @Flight_Refunds@twitter.com' Super Bowl rn...

RT @znjp@twitter.activitypub.actor
so the 9 and 7yo have no school for a month and I wanna try teaching them to code

Suggestions?

ive got ideas but what’s been the best for you?

RT @FabianGMayer@twitter.activitypub.actor
There is no doubt that y'all's lame-ass pictures of empty toilet paper shelves are fueling panic buying. Stop it you know who you are.

RT @snootgirl@twitter.activitypub.actor
"What's your name"
chee rabbits
"but what's your _real_ name"
chee rabbits
"but what's it say on your passport"
chee rabbits
"but what's your *given name*"
last night my partner called me 'happy hungus' is that what you're talking about

RT @jordylancaster@twitter.activitypub.actor
introverts on their way to self quarantine and sit in their houses for 2 weeks

America is a broken, pathetic country. Mind-blowing commentary from @NYMag@twitter.com:

> "...in Senegal, where the per capita income is less than $3,000, they are getting results in four hours. Yesterday, apparently, the CDC conducted zero tests."
---
RT @kotarski@twitter.activitypub.actor
Imperial twilight...

nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/0
twitter.com/kotarski/status/12

RT @kadhim@twitter.activitypub.actor
The coronavirus outcome the British government is actively working towards involves accepting the deaths of tens or hundreds of thousands people depending on where the mortality rate ends up

thetimes.co.uk/article/coronav

RT @MikeStuchbery_@twitter.activitypub.actor
Why does @Twitter@twitter.com allow @KTHopkins@twitter.com to continue? She's encouraging people to get the disease, when it's estimated that each of those infected pass it on to two or three more? This is criminal negligence, horrific!

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